Ok, it’s decided. I’ve had a ton of fun dates recently and although I do not know who I am going to marry, I do know how I want my wedding party to behave. And it looks a little bit like this:

When you’re making choices based on joy and high vibrations, everything else sorta falls into place. You don’t need to figure it all out. You don’t need to toil away or try-try-try.

I’ve been making videos for a year now (happy anniversary! ) and more recently, leading teleclasses.

Why? Um … cuz I like it.

That’s really it. I’m just following inspired action and picking up a trail of joy breadcrumbs and boy has it been an awesome ride!

I love to travel and following this trail has brought me on 8 trips this year. Just this month, with no pushing of any sort, I’ve been asked to do a bunch of really awesome joint ventures with people. Next week I’m flying out to California to record and edit video promos for one of my favorite clients in the whole, wide world. I’ve met people I used to watch and admire, have been to their houses and hung out with their families and have come to call them some of my dearest friends.

Inspired action is like that. You may not know why you are doing it, you may not know the end result, but what you do know is that what you are doing feels good. And that’s all that matters.

Drop the thought, “I need to know.”

Drop the thought, “I should only do things that make money.”

Drop the thought, “Where is this leading?”

Drop the focus on what you do not know and begin focusing on what you do know. “This feels good.” That’s all you need to know. Just follow your own particular joy breadcrumbs and your life will unfold in surprising and fascinating and delightful ways. Promise.

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Special thanks so Sonia Miller for pointing me to this joy-filled video. “We attract what we feel about, not what we think about.” :: Visit We Are THAT Family for more Works-For-Me-Wednesday ideas! :: Share on Facebook

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Louise Hay’s Wisdom Cards (Beautiful Card Deck)

So here’s the latest scoop on the Col front.

I make mistakes.

I know, I know, shocking huh.

A fascinating thing has been unfolding this week and I felt inspired to share it with you.

First, I didn’t feel well.

Then I judged myself.

Then I got confused.

They say what you think about and talk about you bring about so under that theory, if a pal asks, “Hey Col, how ya doin’ today?” and I answer, “Not feelin’ too well” … which, of course, is the honest truth … am I then attracting more of the same?

On top of that, I used to (note the “used to” … cuz I’m gonna change this stuff ) judge myself.

Why am I not well? I should be fine. Why am I not fine? What did I do wrong to make myself not fine? Have I not been following doctor’s orders? Why have I not been following doctor’s orders, how hard is it to follow doctor’s orders, what’s wrong with me anyway?

Benjamin Zander says … if you make a mistake, throw up your hands and exclaim, “How fascinating!”

He talks about being in the downward spiral vs living the rest of your life in possibility. He also teaches that scarcity and abundance are not assessments of the situation but reflections of attitude.

Towards the end of the week my friend Rant sent me an Abraham-Hicks recording, which I began listening to as I lay down. Funny thing is, I didn’t realize it was on endless loop so I listened to the whole thing, then fell asleep and it began again.

And again.

And again.

The whole night I kept floating back up to semi-consciousness over and over, aware of Esther’s words wafting in around the far edges of my sleepy mind.

And here is what she was saying:

“The problem with you is, you keep wanting to speak the truth. You tell how it is. And if how it is isn’t how you want it to be, why keep talking about it? Tell the story how you want it to be.”

So I decided.

If I have a day that is 10% well and 90% unwell, I am going to voice the well. I’m going to do this for a week, like a game, and see how it goes.

That’s the first thing.

Second thing is:

Dang, girl, quit abusing the only Col we’ve got! If I didn’t do something perfectly and as a result I don’t feel well, I’ll say to myself, “Self, aah, interesting. Not well. Feel like lying down? Yes? Well ok then I guess we’re going to lie down now.”

And that’s it. No judgment, just observe. I made a mistake, how fascinating!

Here is the delightful Benjamin Zander, talking about making mistakes and radiating possibility…

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Special thanks to the peace-inducing Elyse Hope Killoran for pointing me in the direction of the inspiring and delightful Benjamin Zander … to Betsy for magical visions and for reminding me to stop beating myself up … to Rant for giving the amazing and generous gift of wisdom and Abraham … to Christine for always listening and supporting me with daily reminders appreciating who I am and prompting weekly joy recharges … and to Sly for his friendship and for making my friend a beautiful song of her very own! And to all four of you for all of the touching “Col is” appreciations which came in my eggs and made my heart smile real big. See more of Louise Hay’s beautiful card deck, Wisdom Cards.
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Law of Attraction says that everything we desire is already in our vibrational escrow- think of it as an energetic warehouse. (Or a big candy store!)

Phil Giuliano teaches us how to get into vibrational alignment with what’s in our escrow by …

• imagining it so as to feel it
• remembering things from our past which are part of our new desire
• writing a story of how it will be to have what we desire
• finding something to appreciate in our current situation
• moving our focus away from “what is” if we don’t like what is

If we don’t like what’s real, focusing on what’s real will create more of what’s real. The trick is changing the focus from where we are to finding the feeling place of the thing that we desire.

The important thing is that we feel it. Then what’s in our vibrational escrow gets drawn into our reality.

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Want more? Pick up The Law of Attraction by Abraham-Hicks :: Visit Rocks in My Dryer for more Works-For-Me-Wednesday ideas! :: Share on Facebook

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There are three types of business. Are you in someone else’s business? If so, bring your energy back to your own business.

Be fully, radiantly YOU … share that with another person and then what they add to your world is not a necessity but an enhancement.

Pick up Loving What Is by Byron Katie for more wisdom.

“If you could get to the place where you no longer feel
a need to push against anything that you disagree with,
you would become in alignment with what you do agree with.”
- Esther Hicks

So tell me what you want.

Is your story full of “I want not-this’s?” How much of what you think and speak of each day is banging the drum of what you do NOT desire? Saying, “I want not this” keeps us stuck.

Let me give you a few examples:

• Talking about something your ex did which you really disliked.
• Thinking, “I don’t want this mess to be here” when looking at clutter.
• Even saying, “I want a different job” … which may carry the energy of disliking your current occupation.

Banging the drum.

It’s time to bang a new drum. Use what you don’t want as contrast, absolutely … in order to clarify what you want … but don’t allow your focus to remain there. Instead, speak of what you *do* want.

So … “my ex did this” becomes …

• What did I learn?
• What can I appreciate?
• What do I look forward to in my next relationship?

“I don’t want this mess to be here” becomes …

• I love it when my place is clean.
• I appreciate organization.
• Look at this little spot of clear floor, ain’t it grand?

And “I want a different job” becomes …

• I’m so lucky to have a job.
• I so look forward to being an artist (or whatever you love!) someday soon.
• Or better yet: What I appreciate about my current job is …

Whenever you’re not feeling so good, ask yourself, “Am I banging the drum of what I do not want?” If so, turn it around. Make sure it’s real and make sure it has positive vibes attached … make sure what you say makes you feel good.

If your husband does something you don’t like, instead of constantly telling people that story, make a conscious effort to tell the story of what you do like about him … even if it’s one tiny thing. That thing will expand and grow and that thing will take on a life of its own, I promise you. You will attract more and more of THAT.

Whatever you speak of and think of, you will attract more of.

Why do I tell you to do this? It’s simple. I want you to feel good. Not just good but REALLY good. And I want you to attract all good things into your world.

I challenge you … for one week make sure you are banging the drum of what you want. I know, I know, somebody cut you off in traffic. Don’t tell that story. Tell the story of the thing that went “RIGHT” instead of the thing that went “WRONG.” I just know if there’s one, there’s also the other.

Think and dream about what you do want. Talk about what you do want often, leaving out the “not this” piece. Talk only of yes’s not no’s.

Do this for one week. Then let me know how you feel. Here’s to feeling better than you ever imagined!

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The concept of banging the drum comes from Abraham-Hicks The Law of Attraction :: Visit Rocks in My Dryer for more Works-For-Me-Wednesday ideas! :: Share on Facebook

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Life is a game.

Identify what game you’re playing and then determine if that is supporting you or holding you back.

Elaina’s game of “don’t fail” was holding her back.

When her game changed from “fear of failure” … to … “take action” … taking action on inspired thoughts, opportunities and possibilities, however and wherever they showed up, without overanalyzing or getting too in her head about it … then everything opened up, everything changed.

Suddenly in her new game she could win at her overall game even if she so-called “failed” at a project because now her game was “go for it, just take action” … so it no longer mattered what the short-term outcome was. As long as she was taking action, she was winning at her game.

So she could land on her face … she could have it not work out … none of that mattered because she was still taking action. And for every time she fell on her face, there were 3 or 4 times when something magical happened.

Would she have experienced the magic if she had kept playing it safe? As Kevin Nations says, “Winners take imperfect action.”

Does fear of failure stop you from taking risks?

Have you settled in certain areas of your life?

Does it have you staying in a relationship that is just not working?

Does it have you staying at a job which is not fulfilling?

Does it have you committing to things which just don’t blow your hair back?

Consider a new game.

Consider trading it in for something inspiring where you gain more adventure, more experience, more opportunity than you ever would have if you had stayed in the game you were playing before.

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Thanks so much to my dear friend Lainie for allowing me to use her video and her story. She is not only a precious and supportive friend but an all-around inspiration. :: Visit Rocks in My Dryer for more Works-For-Me-Wednesday ideas! :: Share on Facebook

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“I’m pissed off at my dreamboard!”

I remember saying that two years ago. I had this gorgeous creation, with the exact guy and the exact house and the exact scenario all mapped out … and it was just *not* happening. So I would walk by and give my dreamboard a little gesture along with the squinty-eyed look of death.

Not exactly the ideal place to create from!

At the time I completely misunderstood Law of Attraction and in this moment, I’ve found a better way of moving into the emotion of what you desire.

Futurization

If you like, you can envision your future reality and make it big and bright and juicy and if that works for you, great! At times I can get into it and those times are powerful … but in other moments, there is this blaring knowledge that my present is something different and apart.

Pastification

Remembering a past event when you did live your dream grounds you in the knowledge and understanding that it is very clearly possible. This is moving in the right direction. But still there may be that separation, that knowledge that this is not my reality NOW.

What do you do when you find yourself wading in a sea of counterproductive feelings? What about the times when where you are at feels like quicksand?

What works for *me* is getting into the now.

Look at what you want things to be like. Then ask, “Ok, where can I find a tiny little piece of that right here and now?”

Embrace it. Take it in, appreciate it, hug it and kiss it and savor its presence. Expand on it and make it big and bright and beautiful.

You want to be prosperous? Look around you. Do you have a TV? Do you have food to eat? A roof over your head? A phone? We’re ahead of the game. Many people in this world do not have these things. We are truly truly prosperous.

Or at least embrace the concept that you have a tiny little taste of prosperity and look around you in every direction to find proof that this is so. Gather as much evidence as you can, big or small. Best to start small.

You are crafting a line to pull yourself out of the quicksand.

You want to be in a loving relationship? Who loves you now? Your mother, your father, your best friend, your cat? Collect all of your proof and roll around in it. Be grateful that you are so very loved.

You want your brother to be more positive? He has said ten unpleasant things … has he said one decent thing? Even just one? Thank him for the one, either directly or to yourself. Focus on what you appreciate.

What you focus on expands. Build yourself a little story, a little bridge out of the muck. The beginnings can be so-so. They can be tiny proof, little itty bitty so-so proof. Give thanks for the tiny proof. Then be on the lookout for one step bigger proof. You will find it. I know you will.

Begin crafting your story and adding and adding until you find your way out. This is the strongest form of visualization, at least for me … one which begins with a grounded seed of truth and is built up little by little until the vision is full and rich. Then you can grab hold of it.

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After writing this article, I discovered a great book by Sonia Miller called The Attraction Distraction: Why the Law of Attraction Isn’t Working for You and How to Get Results - FINALLY! I’ve heard Sonia speak and consider her one of the great LOA teachers. What she shares is straightforward, tangible and clears up a lot of the misconceptions about Law of Attraction. :: Visit Rocks in My Dryer for more Works-For-Me-Wednesday ideas! :: Share on Facebook

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Y’know how people sometimes try so hard to make everything go “right” … like according to some preconceived human-notion of what “right” is … which may even be what the general majority of humans would agree is “right”?
 
Well, when we force that, we are really messing with the natural flow and missing these beautiful new opportunities for growth and expansion.

Last week I reached out to a client who had been having some challenges gathering the material she needed to submit to me so that I can build her web site. Photos of the healers, “about us” copy, things like that.

She told me one of the people on the board had been upset with her because she hadn’t gotten it done sooner. And I understand that perspective, I do.

At the same time …

In imperfection lies a precious little gift, all wrapped up with a pink bow and dropped right into our hands.

She told me she typically avoids confrontation and when someone is upset, she doesn’t want to talk to them. In this case, she found it within herself to reach outside her comfort zone and speak to him. She shared her thoughts about what was on her plate at the moment and asked for assistance.

I was so proud of her!

Look at the beautiful opportunity for connection, growth and expansion which presented itself because of the fact that things had not gone the way we human beings would ideally want them to go, in our fictitious “perfect world” … and in fact, it is so very perfect and these opportunities to stretch are so very beautiful!

Know what I mean?
 
When things don’t go as planned, we receive a precious gift, the chance to reach outside our comfort zone and rise to the occasion, expanding with newfound strength. She has received this wonderful playing field in which to practice finding and strengthening her voice.

Life is all about growth and expansion and it will continue to offer us opportunities to grow. Will you accept the gift? All it takes is looking at it as a gift and you’re on your way!

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If the growing seedlings imagery by Aflo inspires you, consider purchasing a print of “Japanese Seedlings” :: Visit Rocks in My Dryer for more Works-For-Me-Wednesday ideas! :: Share on Facebook

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My ex-boyfriend owns a big snake named Caesar, aka Boo-Boo. The nickname? Oh, that’s his way of lessening my fear… Who can be afraid of a Boo-Boo, right? Smart guy.

Well, I’m deathly afraid of snakes. Or at least I was…

Imagine a dot (you) at the center of a circle. The circle represents the outer limit of your Comfort Zone.

What fits inside that circumference? All the things you’re comfortable with …

Going to the store …
swimming in a pool …
getting a haircut …
giving a toast at a family dinner….
being in the same pet store as a big snake who lives in a tank three aisles away.

What can be found *outside* the Comfort Zone?

Perhaps giving a presentation to 2,000 business people …
or swimming in an ocean …
or petting a snake who lives in your ex-boyfriend’s bedroom.

When I first met Caesar, sitting in his glass house secured by a nice tight escape-proof top, it was tough for me to even be in a room with him. A shuddery sensation would course through my body if I stood in the vicinity of his tank and if, God forbid, my ex-boyfriend would take him out, it’d send me packing to the opposite side of the room.

No offense, Boo-Boo.

“None taken, Col.”

Baby Steps

Depending upon the degree of difficulty, you may choose to take baby steps towards your goal. On the on a scale of 1 to 10, holding a snake was off the charts, completely unthinkable. Broken down into tiny steps it went something like this:

1. Stand across the room with Caesar, uh, Boo-Boo, safe in his tank. Watch him slither around.

2. Stand somewhat nearby (yet far away from his head) while he is, yikes, wrapped around my ex-boyfriend’s arm.

3. Touch his creepy-crawly belly for a second while aforementioned ex-boyfriend holds him securely.

4. Pet his scaly head. Again, ex-boyfriend holding securely is critical.

Just as a game, put your toe into the water. Play with your comfort zone. Challenge yourself and take a baby step outside of it. You’ll be surprised at the things you can actually do that you never dreamed possible. It’s a powerful feeling.

Taking the Splash

At some point, you’ll want to jump right in. Stepping out of your Comfort Zone is an exhilarating experience. It’s something you can feel proud of and you may even feel a rush of adrenaline … excitement … newfound confidence.

Once you’ve stepped outside that circle, not only does it expand to encompass the new thing you tried but it also strengthens you and gives you energy for other challenges.

Kinda like stretching out a balloon before blowing it up. With the first puff, you get a baby balloon. But stretch it out and the next time it’s easier to blow up that balloon reeeal big!

The Shocking Conclusion

Yes, I held Caesar- Can you believe it?!! I can’t. I sincerely can’t. “Never in a million!” I woulda said six months earlier. I can tell you, it’s an empowering experience.

I wish the same for you. And so I offer you this gift:

I encourage you to play a little game with yourself and dip the tippy tip of your toe in the water… or jump right in. Be brave and just do it. All the courage it took to take that step is multiplied a hundred times in the rewards you’ll receive. Try it, you’ll like it!

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My total hero in the area of stepping outside the comfort zone is Tim Ferriss, author of The Four Hour Work Week. Tim is constantly LEAPING out … and in extraordinary ways. A guy to watch for sure.

Special thanks to my loving ex-boyfriend (and of course to Caesar) for his understanding, patience and kindness … an atmosphere in which the best miracles are cultivated!

Visit Rocks in My Dryer for more Works-For-Me-Wednesday ideas! :: Share on Facebook

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So this week I was pestered (occasionally, like a little fly that kept returning to buzz around my face) by the memory of an unpleasant experience with my ex boyfriend. You know the one, the only ex who isn’t sweet to me.

“Aaah, that one!”

Yes, that’s the one.

I was remembering when I went to do something nice and he responded with misplaced anger.

So I decided to go on a little radical forgiveness spree courtesy of Colin Tipping and who’da thunk it, I made a tremendous shift. A leap really.

Colin says, “Life here on earth is meant to be an emotional experience. It’s what we signed up for.”

Guess I didn’t look at the papers when I signed up. Dang. Always look at the papers! (And at this point I picture smacking myself on the forehead in a very Chris-Farley-esque manner.)

“People give us the opportunity to feel our feelings. There’s a certain perfection in that.”

Radical forgiveness is not about lowering your boundaries. If someone is toxic, stay away. But, from a distance, definitely do the work because they’ve presented you with an opportunity for healing and it’s really a gift.

Before my experience with my ex, I had no idea that I could be strong enough to stand in the face of someone who was spewing rage and not give it back to them. To maintain who I want to be in the world. And in that realization was a tremendous gift.

I truly had no idea.

I had grown up with the belief, “It’s not possible to have a good relationship” and the realization that I can be who I want to be regardless of what’s going on around me is helping me to shatter that myth.

And then there’s the part about people mirroring what you’ve shut off in yourself.

Another gift.

I know for sure that I’ve detached from anger. As a matter of fact, one day a kid I was teaching art to seemed to blow off our session after I had rearranged things to make it there and when it bugged me, I self-judged, “WHAT is WRONG with me??” as if I’m not allowed to have feelings.

Looking at my ex as a mirror of the shadow side I was denying helped me to remember it’s ok to have feelings. You don’t need to deny them, you can feel it and then move on. It’s what you do with them that matters. As long as you treat people with respect, no problem.

“It’s a healing dance. When you’re in resistance, nothing changes. The more you accept yourself just the way you are, the more you change. It’s a paradox.”

So today I’m doing a little healing tango. I think I like this dance.

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Quotes are from Colin Tipping, author of Radical Forgiveness, Making Room for the Miracle :: Artwork by Mary Larsson, “In My Heart” may be purchased at AllPosters.com :: Visit Rocks in My Dryer for more Works-For-Me-Wednesday ideas! :: Share on Facebook

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