I

am

proactive!

Ok so I was sorta down because I don’t have this fabulous relationship and all this stuff I though I’d have by the age of 42, right? So then I figured, hey … what are some things that I *get* to do because I’m a single girl, with no kids, with no boyfriend, free, and all that? All the things I was bummed about not having, well what are the things I get to do because I don’t have those things? What does happy single Col GET to do?

“Get” is such a great word! I love “get”!

So on Friday night I got to dress up in this ultra-sexy top which I had questioned the plunge of when I bought it (would the guy I was dating approve of all this cleavage? Well, look ma, no guy!) and strappy shoes … oh, right and jean capris, I did in fact have bottoms on … and go out with my friend Veronica to this cool place with brick walls and candlelight to take a salsa class and dance for three hours with this cute 6’ 1” guy who is at least 10 years younger than me and on Saturday night I got to go back and do it all again, why? Because I FELT like it!

And I got to say yes when he asked me to be his dance partner for the rest of the summer.

I got to plan whatever I want for whenever I want.

I got to work out three times last week and I got to feel absolutely great about that.

I got to go kayaking in the crazy, choppy waves with Rich, laughing my butt off and feeling like I was in some bad movie, with some best boy hired to toss buckets of water on me at all the worst moments … NEVER sit in the front, ladies, NEVER sit in the front! “Aaaw, he’s lettin’ me sit in the front, how nice!” NO! It’s NOT nice! He’s a big pussy bastard, that’s what it is!

I got to go to the beach in my bikini and lie in the sun like a little mermaid.

I got to plan to go whitewater rafting with Holly and her super-enthused son. I got to think what other adrenaline-junkie adventures a single mermaid could dream up.

I got to not eat artificial colors and artificial flavors and red wine and cheese and high fructose corn syrup and other things and I got to see that my pain lessened. Which may be a coincidence and may be by design. And I got to choose.

I got to start up a list of what works for me food-wise because certain foods work just great for me and I get to be in control of my life. And sometimes I can have some of what doesn’t work and I can have a little bit of that if I choose and I can also choose not to if I want not to. It’s all about choice.

And moderation.

And nothing is wrong. Just a different choice.

And everything is passing. If I make one choice in this moment, I live with that choice in that moment and tomorrow I will make a new choice, which may be different and it may be similar, it’s ever-evolving.

I had a revelation. I didn’t owe money. I got out of debt and I was so not wanting to be back there. Then I invested money in annarosejewelry.com and suddenly I had debt again, wow I bummed out about that for a bit … it was my fantasy hope to only use money I had and to be tarnish-free for the rest of my life! But you know what? It’s ok. It’s not like I’m ten thousand dollars in debt or something.

Plus, Life is to be lived.

Right? And as far as I can see, I’m not dead yet.