“I’m pissed off at my dreamboard!”

I remember saying that two years ago. I had this gorgeous creation, with the exact guy and the exact house and the exact scenario all mapped out … and it was just *not* happening. So I would walk by and give my dreamboard a little gesture along with the squinty-eyed look of death.

Not exactly the ideal place to create from!

At the time I completely misunderstood Law of Attraction and in this moment, I’ve found a better way of moving into the emotion of what you desire.

Futurization

If you like, you can envision your future reality and make it big and bright and juicy and if that works for you, great! At times I can get into it and those times are powerful … but in other moments, there is this blaring knowledge that my present is something different and apart.

Pastification

Remembering a past event when you did live your dream grounds you in the knowledge and understanding that it is very clearly possible. This is moving in the right direction. But still there may be that separation, that knowledge that this is not my reality NOW.

What do you do when you find yourself wading in a sea of counterproductive feelings? What about the times when where you are at feels like quicksand?

What works for *me* is getting into the now.

Look at what you want things to be like. Then ask, “Ok, where can I find a tiny little piece of that right here and now?”

Embrace it. Take it in, appreciate it, hug it and kiss it and savor its presence. Expand on it and make it big and bright and beautiful.

You want to be prosperous? Look around you. Do you have a TV? Do you have food to eat? A roof over your head? A phone? We’re ahead of the game. Many people in this world do not have these things. We are truly truly prosperous.

Or at least embrace the concept that you have a tiny little taste of prosperity and look around you in every direction to find proof that this is so. Gather as much evidence as you can, big or small. Best to start small.

You are crafting a line to pull yourself out of the quicksand.

You want to be in a loving relationship? Who loves you now? Your mother, your father, your best friend, your cat? Collect all of your proof and roll around in it. Be grateful that you are so very loved.

You want your brother to be more positive? He has said ten unpleasant things … has he said one decent thing? Even just one? Thank him for the one, either directly or to yourself. Focus on what you appreciate.

What you focus on expands. Build yourself a little story, a little bridge out of the muck. The beginnings can be so-so. They can be tiny proof, little itty bitty so-so proof. Give thanks for the tiny proof. Then be on the lookout for one step bigger proof. You will find it. I know you will.

Begin crafting your story and adding and adding until you find your way out. This is the strongest form of visualization, at least for me … one which begins with a grounded seed of truth and is built up little by little until the vision is full and rich. Then you can grab hold of it.

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After writing this article, I discovered a great book by Sonia Miller called The Attraction Distraction: Why the Law of Attraction Isn’t Working for You and How to Get Results – FINALLY! I’ve heard Sonia speak and consider her one of the great LOA teachers. What she shares is straightforward, tangible and clears up a lot of the misconceptions about Law of Attraction. :: Visit Rocks in My Dryer for more Works-For-Me-Wednesday ideas! :: Share on Facebook

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Join me on 12seconds.tv [Because anything longer is boring.]

Y’know how people sometimes try so hard to make everything go “right” … like according to some preconceived human-notion of what “right” is … which may even be what the general majority of humans would agree is “right”?
 
Well, when we force that, we are really messing with the natural flow and missing these beautiful new opportunities for growth and expansion.

Last week I reached out to a client who had been having some challenges gathering the material she needed to submit to me so that I can build her web site. Photos of the healers, “about us” copy, things like that.

She told me one of the people on the board had been upset with her because she hadn’t gotten it done sooner. And I understand that perspective, I do.

At the same time …

In imperfection lies a precious little gift, all wrapped up with a pink bow and dropped right into our hands.

She told me she typically avoids confrontation and when someone is upset, she doesn’t want to talk to them. In this case, she found it within herself to reach outside her comfort zone and speak to him. She shared her thoughts about what was on her plate at the moment and asked for assistance.

I was so proud of her!

Look at the beautiful opportunity for connection, growth and expansion which presented itself because of the fact that things had not gone the way we human beings would ideally want them to go, in our fictitious “perfect world” … and in fact, it is so very perfect and these opportunities to stretch are so very beautiful!

Know what I mean?
 
When things don’t go as planned, we receive a precious gift, the chance to reach outside our comfort zone and rise to the occasion, expanding with newfound strength. She has received this wonderful playing field in which to practice finding and strengthening her voice.

Life is all about growth and expansion and it will continue to offer us opportunities to grow. Will you accept the gift? All it takes is looking at it as a gift and you’re on your way!

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If the growing seedlings imagery by Aflo inspires you, consider purchasing a print of “Japanese Seedlings” :: Visit Rocks in My Dryer for more Works-For-Me-Wednesday ideas! :: Share on Facebook

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My ex-boyfriend owns a big snake named Caesar, aka Boo-Boo. The nickname? Oh, that’s his way of lessening my fear… Who can be afraid of a Boo-Boo, right? Smart guy.

Well, I’m deathly afraid of snakes. Or at least I was…

Imagine a dot (you) at the center of a circle. The circle represents the outer limit of your Comfort Zone.

What fits inside that circumference? All the things you’re comfortable with …

Going to the store …
swimming in a pool …
getting a haircut …
giving a toast at a family dinner….
being in the same pet store as a big snake who lives in a tank three aisles away.

What can be found *outside* the Comfort Zone?

Perhaps giving a presentation to 2,000 business people …
or swimming in an ocean …
or petting a snake who lives in your ex-boyfriend’s bedroom.

When I first met Caesar, sitting in his glass house secured by a nice tight escape-proof top, it was tough for me to even be in a room with him. A shuddery sensation would course through my body if I stood in the vicinity of his tank and if, God forbid, my ex-boyfriend would take him out, it’d send me packing to the opposite side of the room.

No offense, Boo-Boo.

“None taken, Col.”

Baby Steps

Depending upon the degree of difficulty, you may choose to take baby steps towards your goal. On the on a scale of 1 to 10, holding a snake was off the charts, completely unthinkable. Broken down into tiny steps it went something like this:

1. Stand across the room with Caesar, uh, Boo-Boo, safe in his tank. Watch him slither around.

2. Stand somewhat nearby (yet far away from his head) while he is, yikes, wrapped around my ex-boyfriend’s arm.

3. Touch his creepy-crawly belly for a second while aforementioned ex-boyfriend holds him securely.

4. Pet his scaly head. Again, ex-boyfriend holding securely is critical.

Just as a game, put your toe into the water. Play with your comfort zone. Challenge yourself and take a baby step outside of it. You’ll be surprised at the things you can actually do that you never dreamed possible. It’s a powerful feeling.

Taking the Splash

At some point, you’ll want to jump right in. Stepping out of your Comfort Zone is an exhilarating experience. It’s something you can feel proud of and you may even feel a rush of adrenaline … excitement … newfound confidence.

Once you’ve stepped outside that circle, not only does it expand to encompass the new thing you tried but it also strengthens you and gives you energy for other challenges.

Kinda like stretching out a balloon before blowing it up. With the first puff, you get a baby balloon. But stretch it out and the next time it’s easier to blow up that balloon reeeal big!

The Shocking Conclusion

Yes, I held Caesar- Can you believe it?!! I can’t. I sincerely can’t. “Never in a million!” I woulda said six months earlier. I can tell you, it’s an empowering experience.

I wish the same for you. And so I offer you this gift:

I encourage you to play a little game with yourself and dip the tippy tip of your toe in the water… or jump right in. Be brave and just do it. All the courage it took to take that step is multiplied a hundred times in the rewards you’ll receive. Try it, you’ll like it!

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My total hero in the area of stepping outside the comfort zone is Tim Ferriss, author of The Four Hour Work Week. Tim is constantly LEAPING out … and in extraordinary ways. A guy to watch for sure.

Special thanks to my loving ex-boyfriend (and of course to Caesar) for his understanding, patience and kindness … an atmosphere in which the best miracles are cultivated!

Visit Rocks in My Dryer for more Works-For-Me-Wednesday ideas! :: Share on Facebook

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So this week I was pestered (occasionally, like a little fly that kept returning to buzz around my face) by the memory of an unpleasant experience with my ex boyfriend. You know the one, the only ex who isn’t sweet to me.

“Aaah, that one!”

Yes, that’s the one.

I was remembering when I went to do something nice and he responded with misplaced anger.

So I decided to go on a little radical forgiveness spree courtesy of Colin Tipping and who’da thunk it, I made a tremendous shift. A leap really.

“Life here on earth is meant to be an emotional experience. It’s what we signed up for.”

Guess I didn’t look at the papers when I signed up. Dang. Always look at the papers! (as I smack myself on the forehead like Chris-Farley)

“People give us the opportunity to feel our feelings. There’s a certain perfection in that.”

Radical forgiveness is not about lowering your boundaries. If someone is toxic, stay away. But, from a distance, definitely do the work because they’ve presented you with an opportunity for healing and it’s really a gift.

Before this experience with my ex, I had no idea that I could be strong enough to stand in the face of someone who was spewing rage and not give it back to them. To maintain who I want to be in the world. And in that realization was a tremendous gift.

I truly had no idea.

I had grown up with the belief, “It’s not possible to have a good relationship.” The realization that I can be who I want to be regardless of what’s going on around me is helping me to shatter that myth.

And then there’s the part about people mirroring what you’ve shut off in yourself.

Another gift.

I know for sure that I’ve detached from anger. As a matter of fact, one day a kid I was teaching art to seemed to blow off our session after I had rearranged things to make it there and when it bugged me, I self-judged, “WHAT is WRONG with me??” as if I’m not allowed to have feelings.

Looking at my ex as a mirror of the shadow side I was denying helped me to remember it’s ok to have feelings. You don’t need to deny them, you can feel it and then move on. It’s what you do with them that matters. As long as you treat people with respect, no problem.

“It’s a healing dance. When you’re in resistance, nothing changes. The more you accept yourself just the way you are, the more you change. It’s a paradox.”

So today I’m doing a little healing tango. I think I like this dance.

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Quotes are from Colin Tipping, author of Radical Forgiveness, Making Room for the Miracle :: Artwork by Mary Larsson, “In My Heart” may be purchased at AllPosters.com :: Share on Facebook

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